30 September 2004

Numb

Why is it I feel so strange?
A Death that brushes by so lightly
Can cause mayhem
Of the Greatest intensity.

Why is it I am Alive?
Hung on a thread so feather-light and
Carelessly loose
On a beam of Eternal Light.

Numb.
Un-feeling.
Incapable.
Of sensing any danger or love.

Handcuffed
I am the Spirit of the Wind,
Trapped for a moment in Human form







29 September 2004

Moon Over My Head

Today is Mid-Autumn Festival.

A night of reunion and togetherness.
This is so negligible now. Who craves eating with Dad and Mom?
Well, I do.
It's a wonderful experience...admiring a lovely night with the folks.
Mooncakes are getting fancier, but I like the same old taste.
Homely. Sweet. Nostalgic.

And I am glad the rain cleared up.
Autumn-ish feel in the air. Nice.
I feel relieved. Of the crapload I lug around all day, this thing we term "WORK".
The twisted spirit straightens up.
I binge.
Whine about getting fat.
Laugh over it.
All in the confines of my home and
within a radius of 1 metre of a double yolk mooncake!

YAY.
Awaiting the moon to go over my head.
Shiny. Pale. Shimmering.

Happy MAF!
On The Hammock (oops..wrong smiley......who cares though :P)










28 September 2004

Forever?

Dearest you:

We know sands have poor memories.
Our footsteps will not stay, will not be etched in her mind forever.

What is forever?
A citric fragrance that lingers so briefly?
A song that reasonates softly in the dark?
A finger that is drunk on a loving touch?

What is?

We walk the forgetful path of Time, losing our own consciousness
as each step dissolves.

You look at the moon, overhead.
Bending low, a pure shaft dies in your empty grasp.
That, is forever.

Dear you:

We will go on in our strides.....past every tree and sapling.
To a destination fuzzy and warm.
To Forever.

******************************************************************************************************************
Time flies every day.
I must make some notes.
Before I forget.

Card Making






27 September 2004

Prayer

This goes to everyone in my life.......every breathing soul i am in touch with, far and near....

There is a wishing star
on its way to retirement.
I am intending to catch
its last breath

I will pray for all of you
everyone..everything..everyday
There is still much to live for
No need for despair.

I see the wishing star
so frail and teary
it hurts
from seeing our pain

It will pray for me
that I may continue to love
all who are worthy and needy
No need for sadness.




25 September 2004

To MH

Hey.
There are so many things to do in this world. Many many many, out of our reach.
Like the stars, the moon, the very ends of the gentlest wave.
Yet we are to go on, like clockwork, simply by virtue of the fact we are ALIVE.

You may say "clockwork" is so sad.
It emboodies a precision that routine-checks our lives and that, is so important.
We move on in spite of the setbacks, that is routine too, isn't it?

So let's do it. The courageous way we do it all our years of being alive.
I believe you can.








Words are words alone

Words
Cutting
Blades

I feel pain
A smile silhouetted in a blood red curse
forced matyrdom
when I only wanted a selfish happiness

Words
Decapitating
Tools

I see your grief
A shadow dissolving in a flood of tears
abused trust
something you bear heavily on your shoulders

Dear YZ....

be brave and hang in there, ok.
you are a fine gal and no one should doubt that except for those blind in the heart.


17 September 2004

Moonshine

An invisible lustre
Lights up your eyes
In a flash
All is over

A call resonates like a echo in the valley
Every dream loses its voice
After you are gone

I see the moon
Shining
Darkening
A shadow of itself

To: MH.....take care of yourself



16 September 2004

Rubber Band

Be a rubber band unto thyself.
Strength,
more strength,
yet more strength.

Smile at the hardships.
So that you may laugh at victory.

I think it makes so much sense, the allegory we should be a rubber band. To stretch and be stretched once again, in face of life's turmoils. There has to be hope and confidence, that things will better themselves, if we are conditioned to accept that in our hearts.


13 September 2004

Paths

Our paths crossed
Under the old old tree.

You ae headed for somewhere
Me for another
The wind blows and our hands touched

I don't know if we can end up
In the same place forever
Whether our paths will remain
locked

*********************************************************************************************************************
Perturbed I wish to cry out loud: "what is all these about???!!! i am misquotedmislovedmisunderstood !!!"

Dear W, I love you. But I am so afraid at the same time.
There is so much binding and tearing us apart simultaneously.....what am I to do?










12 September 2004

Terminal

You trip over a baggage of Time.
Delayed.
Terminated.
Processing.
Departed.
Who are you waiting for?

How long have you dwelled in your realm?
Paid your rent.
Ate your heart before a stranger.
Smiled into space.

Living out of a suitcase.
How long have you been waiting?
For whom.
I hear my call for boarding
But I do not find my ticket.

Terminals are stops for Fate.
He comes in Hugo Boss
Masquerading as Bonaparte
Crying
Like a lost Soul

You leave for a dream
I come for a memory
We meet
At the Terminal

*****************************************************************************************************************
Watched Steven Spielberg's Terminal.
The concept of "waiting" is fascinating.
Tom Hanks? I felt myself teleported back to the "Forrest Gump" times....
Such enjoyment.






10 September 2004

Fallen

Went for a jog.
Saw kids playing and laughing.
Smiles flying by me
Myself fallen.
By the innocent sight and sound,
Many things have not remained as they should.

To Live and not merely Exist.
I think I have failed my slogan.
I have fallen.
So hard, so often.
So painful.



Being Me

If there's a job that is more tedious
than Being Me
I'm the last to know.

Dear ME:

You are such a thought to entertain.
A physical form so weak and imperfect....you are just you.
Do learn from the best, would ya?
Look at a flower and smile. It's just looking and smiling, why think so much?

Look, I can't tender and walk away.
A shadow needs feeding and you are the fodder.
A life needs a shell to house it and you are the castle.

Me, you've gotta be strong, ok?
If there is a job more tedious than being Me, tell Me.
I won't go fer it! :P



9 September 2004

Eulogy to the sky

The sky bathed in sunshine looks set to weep.
Maybe I have smiled too much
Is it time to cry?

I am starting to blog again..
who knows how long it'll stay..maybe forever, maybe nought :P
just like the sky..

i am penning an eulogy..for the blueness like a pastel spread.....silently sprawled in false cheer...who deems it true or false....i am not the authority of course.who is?

bloggie. bloogie. bloogiie.
Aw...a cloud floats by..singing a song. him or her. does it matter?
a song by coldplay...yellow.
clouds are nice..to the blue blue sky.

My blog goes to the sky today.....it's beautiful...

:)